ArticlesIn the shadowy world of credit ratings, companies trade behind your back in gossip about your past. They maintain extensive dossiers on your every move, watching what you bought and when you paid, remembering every time you were forgetful or just had a bad week, secretly recording you and making the – often error-ridden – information available to any company willing to pay.
Recently, I stumbled across one such company. They were required by law to provide me a free copy of my dossier. I decided to take them up on it. Sure they made it hard – complex forms, fax machines that never responded, trying to trick me into paying for it, but I was diligent. I wanted to see what they had to say about me – what story they have been tattling. Would I have a Moody rating? A FICO score? What long-forgotten late payment would they use as an excuse to dock my rating?
Today, I struck gold. I received a reply from this nefarious agency with all the gory details. I ripped open the letter excitedly.
Dear Julian
Thank you for your recent request for a copy of your Credit File.
Unfortunately, we are unable to proceed with your request at this time, as we are unable to locate a credit file with the identity information you have supplied to us. This may be because you have not applied for credit in the past five years.
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Just because I haven’t applied for credit in the past five years, so what? How dare you not have all my financial details, carefully cross-referenced against my name, eye-colour, height and sexual proclivities?
What am I? Chopped liver?
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