OddThinking

When I become the CEO of a major car-manufacturer, I’m going to start selling my cars in a very different way.

Let me start by acknowledging that many people choose cars rationally, based on how well the car’s features suit their needs. Well, when I say “many people”, of course, I really mean “barely any people”. I’m talking here about the meager few who buy a tray-top because they need to carry building materials every day, and the like.

However, a much larger percentage see their car as a status symbol. It broadcasts an image to others about who you are, and what tribe you affiliate with. I am talking here about women who buy cute cars because, by association, it suggests that the driver is cute. I am talking about men who buy so-called muscle cars because, by association, it suggests that the driver is macho.

The car-makers know this, and the marketers play on it. Look at some car advertising. Note how few numbers or facts are mentioned. It is more likely that an advert will focus on how much other people will admire your car than focus on fuel-efficiency, number of gears, engine capacity, etc.

It’s time to go the next step. Stop advertising cars to the buyers’ demographic and start advertising cars to the demographic that the buyers’ are trying to impress.

When you walk into my car yard, there won’t be any cars on display – there will be marketing charts. When you walk into the yard, a slick salesperson will come across and lead you to an array of pie-charts.

“Hello, sir. Did you get a hot-dog from the barbeque? Great. So, tell me, what image do you want your car to project?

“Want your boss to think you are reliable white-collar worker, worthy of promotion? We have the perfect car for that. It is advertised to CEOs in Business Review Weekly and the Financial Times. The drivers are portrayed as conscientious and intelligent, but still respectful of their bosses.

“Oh? You want to attract women? Did you want to go for sophisticated or unsophisticated? What age and social status?

“Relax, we can help you out. We have cars advertised everywhere from Dolly Magazine to New Idea, Cleo to New Scientist. We have drivers portrayed anywhere between young rebels to good husbands, toy boys to academics.

“Once you decide who you want to impress, we’ll show you the advertising campaign we have targetting that group. That will reveal the right car for you – hey, it might even turn out that it is a motorbike you need – we’ve got you covered.

“We even offer assistance in matching your wardrobe to your car, to ensure you give off a consistent image.”

If you are going to let one of the biggest purchasing decisions in your life be determined by brand over utility, you should at least be well-informed about the brand.