OddThinking

I recently did the research to finally understand the truth… the truth behind an old story that has always troubled me: the shroud of mystery behind the case that the tabloids dubbed “The Story of Little Red Riding Hood”.

I took a cold hard look at the facts of this case, and I think you will be surprised by the result.

Examining the Claims

The sole witness in this case makes a number of extraordinary claims, which I list here for consideration:

• Walking in the forest, alone, she encountered an evil monster, in the shape of a wolf.
• She found the same monster later, in her grandmother’s bed.
• The wolf exhibited a number of unusual characteristics:
  • It spoke – and even conducted polite conversation.
  • It was bipedal.
  • It had remarkably big eyes – not a feature that is generally associated with wolves.
  • In fact, it was remarkably large in general – even for a full-grown wolf. It was able to fit an entire human inside of its stomach.
• The girl felt under attack from the wolf, although she had no signs of physical injury after the incident.
• The girl was joined by the woodcutter (whose presence, until now, has never been adequately explained.)
• The woodcutter was able to render the wolf harmless, cut open the fur, and the grandmother – apparently previously eaten by the wolf – popped out alive and unhurt.

Examining the Source

It is important to look at the trustworthiness of the source of the facts – who is reporting this story, and are they a reliable witness?

In this case, we have:

• The witness is an impressionable young girl.
• Her mother and father’s parenting skills were under a cloud; stories of her being left unsupervised in the woods for lengthy periods should have been sufficient to attract the attention of Community Services long before this incident arose.
• The need for a “safety blanket”, to provide comfort, is often found amongst toddlers. It is normally a stage that is well passed by the time the child is a tween. In this case, the witness continued to obsessively carry a comfort item, in the form of a red riding hood – even when she wasn’t out riding. This is evidence of a serious disruption to the normal childhood development processes.
• Similarly, the child had not yet acquired appropriate socialisation skills, leaving her somewhat as a “loner”. She would often go on long walks alone. Her red hood and cloak acted as a deliberate barrier. It made her less approachable and allowed her to further isolate herself from interaction with others.
• She would fantasize about having a different persona, a different life. She refused to answer to her own name, instead insisting that people referred to her by her fantasy character’s name, “Red Riding Hood”, like some sort of super-hero.

It is clear that this young child had severe psychological and developmental problems. The old cliche applied: She was a time-bomb just waiting to go off.

Dismissing the Official Story

For reasons of their own, the tabloids have completely accepted the entire story of this young girl, of talking animals, and wolves swallowing humans live and whole. Rather than challenging the description of the bizarre behaviour of the wolf, they have instead called for the widespread culling near school districts of these innocent forest creatures.

I believe if we had high-quality investigative journalism, this official story would have been revealed long ago for the nonsense fairy-tale that it is.

The Real Story

As a result of my recent insight and after further investigation, I can now explain the real sequence of events that occurred that day:

• A young and troubled girl tries to get the attention and approval of her parents with a basket of goodies.
• She finds herself spurned again by her inattentive parents. She retreats into herself, and sets out into the woods for solitude, still carrying the basket.
• While in the woods, she startles a sleeping forest wolf, which, no doubt, sprints away quickly to safety. This incident scares the already-stressed child. She decides to run to her nearby grandmother’s house for support.
• She enters her grandmother’s house unannounced. There, the grandmother is interrupted in preparation for sexual play with her lover. I should mention here that just because the woman is a paraphiliac, who conducts abnormal sexual practices, is no reason to dub her, as the locals have, as a “sick, sick grandmother.”
• The scared and stressed young girl has no understanding of the nature of furries’ sexual desires. She is unable to process the scene of her grandmother laying in bed, dressed in a fetishistic wolf fur-suit.
• The grandmother tries to talk to her to calm her down, but as the woman peers through the big eyes of the over-sized costume, she realises the child is losing her grip on reality.
• The grandmother yells for her lover, in the other room, to come in to assist. The yell scares the girl, who fears she is under attack.
• Her lover, who has just donned a provocative lumber-jack costume as part of his own sexual role-play, rushes into the room and helps the grandmother out of the suit, unzipping it down the front to allow the, now naked, woman out.
• However, it is too late. The poor child has already fallen into a form of dissociative fugue, leading to the bizarre hallucinatory rationalisations of the scene that have been so faithfully reported by the tabloids.

I hope now that the truth is clear, that the authorities will be quick to act:

First, to provide psychological support and mental care for all of the people involved in this sad incident.

Second, to educate the public about innocent party here. We should be encouraged to admire the beauty in these gentle creatures of the forest, instead of fearing them: the beauty of the wolves’ noble stature, their wonderful pelt, and, oh my, what big teeth they have!