OddThinking

For young people who are serious about the craft, and are considering going pro, I would like to share some basic advice from a former ice-cream-eating professional.

This tip applies if you are ordering more than one flavour of ice cream to be served in a cone.

During your selection of the flavours, there should be one clear favourite. This is your “safe” choice, to ensure that the ice cream experience goes well. That gives you a stable base to allow you to risk one or more experimental flavours as its companions.

Of course, during a professional gig or during level-testing exams, you will be choosing only flavours that you know are going to pay off. That’s no time to be taking risks.

However, during rehearsal sessions, you should be constantly experimenting with those extra flavours. You never know when you are going to stumble on that flavour – the one that is going to elevate your ice-cream eating above your peers and guarantee you ice-cream-eating gigs for life. This is how I discovered Jaffa ice cream – that swirling mix of chocolate and orange goodness – and look how far that took me! For gelati, I am more of a traditionalist: lemon is my safe flavour that never ever fails.

But, of course, you know all this already from your studies. What is the secret that I want to share today?

It’s this: When you order an ice cream, always specify your favourite flavour first. Some people get excited by the possibilities of a new flavour and blurt it out early. That way lies danger. Play it safe.

Let me explain how it works.

In the case of the double-layered ice-cream cone, the bottom scoop acts as an architectural base for the scoop that rests above it. The ice-creamerer must ensure that there is a solid base, and for that reason will make the bottom scoop larger than the top.

In the case of gelati, the first scoop will squish down into the cone, so the gelatarian will normally add more to ensure that the cone has a pleasant, visually symmetric appearance, despite the hidden masses.

So, you want your favourite flavour to be delivered to the cone first.

In the interests of efficiency, your typical ice-creamerer or gelatarian will be already planning the route to, or actually delivering, your first flavour before they ever hear your second or third choice leave your mouth. That’s why the first flavour spoken should be your favourite flavour.

Now occasionally a professional gelatarian, especially during an off-peak order, will want to weigh up the relative stiffnesses of the two flavours, to ensure that an slightly softer gelato is not given the task of supporting a structurally stronger flavour. They won’t move immediately after your first lavour is spoken, but will wait to hear your other choices.

If this is a gelatarian that you trust, with a solid working relationship built over dozens or hundreds of scoops, you should allow them this choice. Like a good golf caddy, they can use their local knowledge to support your game. They will already know your safe flavours, will consider the riskiness of your flavour choices, as well as the consistency conditions, and adjust their relative sizes appropriately.

However, if this is an unknown gelatarian, it is possible to force their hand with some dextrous wording of your order. After naming the first flavour, stall as though you haven’t planned the second flavour choice since the day before. Hide your training notebook and stammer “I’ll have lemon and… ooh, let me see. Um…”

The gelatarian is sure to start on the lemon, rather than wait for another (apparent) ice-cream hobbyist to make up their mind.

So to summarise, for a safer eating experience it is important to order your order with your favourite flavour first.

I hope this advice has been helpful. Good luck with your new career. May your frantic hand-waving diminish your brain-freezes immediately.