OddThinking

A two Swedish anecdotes, inspired by the Danish WeDoNotUse.com.

The phone rang in my apartment in Sweden. I picked up and was greeted by a torrent of gibberish. “I am sorry. I do not speak Swedish. Do you speak English?” I asked.

“Oh, yes,” said the woman at the other end. “I am calling from Svenska Dagbladet.” That’s a daily paper printed in Stockholm. “We are currently offering a discount on home-delivered subscriptions.” She continued to describe the offer.

“Svenska Dagbladet?” I queried, “That’s written in Swedish, isn’t it?”

“Err.. yes,” she conceded, but quickly rallied, “but it is a great way to learn Swedish.”

Laughing, I thanked her for the suggestion, but declined.

I didn’t need a newspaper to practice my reading. There was plenty of material available, such as junk mail.

Once, early in my stint in Sweden, I tried to parse a brochure that had been shoved through the letterbox slot on my door. I made less progress than I hoped; the only interpretation I could make from the flyer was that they were offering “home-delivered toilet paper”! My comprehension skills clearly weren’t yet up to the task. I wondered briefly what the flyer was really about.

I had already forgotten about the flyer the next morning when there was a knock on the door. A salesman was there to collect my order; how many rolls of toilet paper would I like?

Half-an-hour later, I related the tale to a Swedish colleague. I was trying to gauge whether home-delivered toilet paper was considered unusual in Sweden. He appeared amused by the concept, but then quickly rallied. With a concerned voice, he warned me: “Be careful of the quality of the home-delivered toilet paper. It is best to unravel it all the way to check it is okay, and then wind it back up.”

Laughing, I thanked him for the suggestion, but declined.