OddThinking

I’ve got some big news.

I have left my job, and I am not looking for another one. Friday, May 23rd was my last day. Today is the first day of me being what the Australian Bureau of Statistics calls a “person not in the labour force”.

Julian’s Job Status FAQ

So, you are taking 3 months off?

I never said that!

A few people have jumped to the conclusion that I am taking 3 months off, as though that is the socially accepted amount of time for a mid-career crisis. I never said that.

I have indicated that I do not expect it to be any less than 6 months before I go looking for significant income-producing activities. It may well be longer. Much, much longer. It might be never.

So, where are you travelling to?

Travelling? I never said that!

Again, it seems the only socially acceptable reason to take time off is to travel.

So, you have no travel plans?

Stop trying to make me commit to things I never said!

I have no plans to do any big trips. I have no plans to not do any big trips. We’ll see.

No, I am not planning on travelling to this year’s big three juggling and unicycling conventions. I did that in 2006, and I don’t feel the need to do that every year.

I do have some plans to travel interstate here and there over the next 12 months (ACT in June, Victoria in September, Tasmania in February), but I would have been doing similar trips even if I was in full-time employment.

Wait, so you are retired?

I have been avoiding that word. If someone retires, it means they plan to never work again. I don’t plan to never work again. Nor do I plan to ever work again. My future employment depends on many factors, which may turn out either way.

I am avoiding putting myself in a position where returning to work is perceived as a failure. If I do decide to return to work, I will do so proudly. I am likely to choose both a role and an attitude to work which best suits me, based on the lessons I have learned from my time off.

If you are not retired, what are you?

I am still hunting for the right term for my business card. (I am still looking for the right term for “business card” as well!)

I have bandied around terms like “Retirement Practice”, “Retirement Attempt”, and “Pretirement”.

I am also considering “Self-Unemployed”.

I had one suggestion of “Lifestyle Researcher”, as I experiment with the zero-income lifestyle and see if it suits me. I like that.

If I want to impress people, maybe I should use “Investment Portfolio Manager”, because I will be managing my own savings.

I am open to suggestions.

What would make you come back to work?

This is crossing the line into none-of-your-damned-business, but I think I need to spell it out to make it clear.

I think there are three big risks that will make me want to return to paid employment:

The first is the obvious one: Money.

I have not done a detailed budget yet – I expect to do that in the next few days, but without doubt, I am going to be far more concerned about reducing expenses than I have been while I have been on a salary.

If I find eating ramen noodles for every meal, and not being able to afford the latest camera gizmos, is ill-suited to my temperament, I will need to find some more income.

I am also at the whim of my investments and other financial risks. If they do not perform as well as expected, it is back to work I go (and that decision has a time-limit; my l33t 5k1ll5 are likely to become less valuable over time, and trying to get a new job at 90 might be tricky.)

That brings me to the second risk: Intellectual Boredom.

My job offered intellectual challenges which I enjoyed. My brain lives on problems to solve. I need to keep it nurtured.

I believe I have enough side-projects ideas to keep myself challenged. If I am wrong, I will be looking for a job which is going to amuse me.

The third big risk: Social Boredom.

Despite the stereotype of computer nerds working in front of computers all day, there is a large social aspect to work. I will miss my friends at work, and I will need to work hard to maintain face-to-face contact with other human beings to remain happy.

I have given this some thought, and have some plans on how to address this, but it certainly is something I will need to spend effort on.

Of course, chicks dig men who lack an income and have no apparent ambition…

What will you do with yourself?

Over a year ago, I wrote up a list of the hours in a day, and how I might divide them up.

Health and Fitness was a key item.

“Projects” was another key item, and I produced a quick list of projects, with estimates of how long they would take. When I got to 6 months worth, I stopped and threw the list away. The goal was not to commit to those items; it was to persuade myself that I had plenty to keep busy.

On Saturday, I wrote up a newer, more definitive list. It contained 107 items, and is still growing by several per day. While I haven’t yet put estimates against them, many were less than 1 hour’s effort, while others were many weeks’ work. I hope they will keep me busy.

What you should understand is that none of them is terribly important. None of them are designed to make me a million dollars; each is more whimsical than the last.

You’ll be bored in six months!

You are being a bit presumptuous, aren’t you?

Maybe. I am look forward to finding out.

How old are you? How can you retire at that age?

That’s rather personal!

I am 37 years old

And stop saying the R word! We discussed that!

I heard you didn’t retire, but you were laid off!

That’s none-of-your-damned… err… okay, I’ll share.

Yes, I was very lucky to be laid off.

I informed my bosses two months ahead of time of my plans. I explained that I wanted to take Leave Without Pay indefinitely; I had a very good role in a very good company, and I wanted to keep my options open to return if the risks I mentioned above came to fruition. Because of the way that Human Resources and “head-count limits” work in big companies, they were happy to comply; they would be happy for me to come back, and this made it much easier. Win-win!

Then their financial situation turned (temporarily!) sour. They were required to lay off some staff to meet budgets. Again, because of the way Human Resources works in big companies, it was advantageous to choose me. So, one week before my planned leave date, they informed me that I was to be made redundant. They made it clear that this wasn’t because of an issue with my performance. (Australian law pretty much forbids that anyway.) I respect their decision-making process, and have no objections.

In Australia, redundancy comes with a severance package, and my company was very generous with it.

So, please don’t offer me sympathy, I don’t deserve it.

Please don’t be jealous; I deserve it, but it doesn’t suit you.

Be happy for me!

Wow, so are you going to spend the severance payment on an overseas trip? A new camera?

Let me explain how compound interest and delayed gratification works. I can either (a) receive 20 units of fun now, or (b) 1 unit of fun every year for the next 50 years of my life.

If I want to keep the option open to not return to work, I need to keep taking choice (b).

You must have inherited a fortune when your father passed away! That explains it!

Dammit, you are impertinent! Stop it with the rude questions.

No, it didn’t work that way. This has been a long-term plan for me, and in fact I discussed my plans with my father before he died. His estate wasn’t a factor.

He himself retired reasonably early and he did demonstrate that retirement can still be very fulfilling.

How will this affect OddThinking?

I don’t really know.

It should give me more time to write.

It should give more fodder for the “This is what problem I solved in Python” posts.

I fear it may take away some of the inspiration for nerdy posts.

There is a risk that I will start doing more “What I did today” blog posts, as I attempt to validate my more mundane existence. I will try to keep an eye on this.

I fear it will take away some of my credibility, but I didn’t have much to begin with.

Items on my list of projects include some WordPress plugins that I have suggested before. I would also like to contribute some time to the WordPress effort.

Conclusion

I am excited by this opportunity and consider myself terribly lucky to have the chance to try it out.

I hope you appreciate my candour here, in the face of all your rude questions!

I also hope you will help me reduce my risks, by considering me when you start your whimsical projects, plan your social activities, or pass me shivering in a doorway, begging for food.