ArticlesMany bathrooms in offices and shops have two unlatched doors acting as a modesty air lock between the public area and the bathroom itself.
When I become President of Australia, I am going to pass a law about these doors.
Every day, hundreds or thousands of people across Australia jump with surprise or even receive a rap across their knuckles, as someone else pushes open the bathroom door just as they were about to pull open from the other side.
Fortunately, there is now a sophisticated technology that allows us to see right through doors and detect when people are approaching them. It is called a “window”.
My new edict will require all such doors be fitted with small windows near the handle, so you can see if someone is reaching for it.
Of course, some consideration must be given to privacy. In 90% of the cases, the geometry of the layout would make it impossible to peer through such windows and see anything immodest. In the 10% of cases where this would reveal the shocking sight of members of the opposite sex using a handbasin, the law would require a larger, frosted windows; the movement of the shadows across these windows would offer similar results.
As you see, I will be a benevolent President. I won’t demand that you kneel down and bow before me for hours on end. You can sit cross-legged, so it is more comfortable on your knees.
Comment by Sunny Kalsi on July 22, 2008
Julian: Won’t this cross-legged bowing before you (which is probably bad for your back, although may be good for flexibility and your knees) require a large amount of space, if you were required to be there in person?
Even if we could bow, say, in front of the TV and you’re on it, or even in front of an idol of some sort, this would also waste a fairly large percentage of time which could be used to increase GDP. How will you compete with nations with a comparatively smaller amount of cross-legged bowing?
Finally, unless you stagger the cross-legged bowing by your citizens, this would leave our nation open to attack.