OddThinking

One of the downsides of not having an salary is that my high-tech gadget purchases have to be heavily curtailed. That doesn’t mean I have to give up on gadget reviews entirely… I just need to adjust my expectations.

One of the errands I ran the other day was to visit the company that was recommended to me when I complained about a lack of mops for people of my stature.

This is a review of the cleaning system that I selected. My review criteria are based on a typical residential household where the floor cleaning is performed by a 5’11” male, with a history of minor back problems and who likes to juggle. Commercial cleaners would be better suited looking at the latest review round-up in Mop & Bucket Quarterly.

I looked at the ready-made mops available – particularly the sponge-based system that I was familiar with – but they all exhibited the same short-handle mis-feature as my existing mop system.

Therefore, I decided to evaluate a custom-made mop solution.

I based my choice on the Sabco Commercial 1.5m Aluminium handle. I selected this model largely based on the fact it was the only long handle in stock. Fortunately, it came with red trim, so I did not need to have another one custom-ordered.

The handle was long and smooth, and fairly light but sturdy. It came with the standard screw-tip. In the test bathroom, there were no low light fixtures or other fragile items, but care should be taken with the longer poles, that items are not accidentally whacked.

As a balancing pole for juggling tricks, it is not ideal. The length is great, but its low moment of inertia and low centre of gravity require rapid movements to maintain the balance.

Of course, custom-length poles do not come fitted with the necessary sliding handle required for sponge-based mop technologies. I was forced to purchase an appropriate yarn-based mop head, compatible with the pole.

Fortunately, the salesman at Enviro Chemicals came to my aid, and quickly selected the Sabco Commercial Premium Grade 400g Contractor Mop Head. This is a Premium Textile Blend, Washable, Highly Absorbent product with Long Lasting Industrial Quality.

It also came in red. Matching the head to the handle meant that I was adhering to one of the “standard health industry colours to reduce the risk of cross contamination”.

When removed from the packaging, the mop head was soft and very warm to touch. (Having left it in the boot of my car on a hot day was probably the cause of at least part of this effect.) I don’t know if it was still warm to touch after I used it; it was all icky, and I wasn’t going to touch it just for this review.

When combined with the mop handle (a simple screw-in operation) the mop became far more suitable for balancing tricks – with additional weight and a much higher centre of gravity. However, the icky factor makes it more of a speciality prop for danger acts than a prop suitable for daily training.

One of the advantages of the yarn-based mops is their longevity. The salesman was adamant that this mop was a quality product that would last a long time. However, given that sponge mops are about half of the price, and probably last 10 years, the Net Present Value of both systems is about the same.

The packaging for the mop head also included:

1. an adaptor for “25mm wooden, metal or aluminium handles” – I am relieved that is supports both metal and aluminium handles.
2. a spare “innovative non-scratch scourer” pad that attaches to the side of the mop head to help remove “tough stains or marks”.

The spare scourer pad actually posed several problems; where can I store it so I will be able to find it again in a few years’ time, and so that I won’t accidentally throw it out when I can’t recognise what it is? Also, doesn’t the fact that it needs a spare suggest that it doesn’t have a long life? It undermines the longevity argument.

Of course, yarn-based mop heads, unlike sponge mops, require bucket-fitted, head-squeezing technology. The salesman recommended the Edco 16L Plastic Bucket with Metal Mechanism. This is a traditional cylindrical bucket, as opposed to the oblong buckets now offered by their competitors, but it comes fitted with castor wheels.

The selected model was, of course, bright red, to complete the matched look.

The Edco bucket has its foot pedals (to operate the head-squeezing mechanism) quite far apart, which may make the operation difficult for people with short legs. Fortunately, I don’t really give a damn about those preta-porter mop-buying losers.

The lab-testing did not include capacity testing; we only have Edco’s word on the fact that it is indeed 16L. However, testing did confirm that the Edco bucket did not have a hole in it and therefore avoided stack-overflow conditions, dear Lisa.

The downside to the Edco bucket was its price – retailing at $45. When I expressed my concern at the price, the salesman dropped the price by 4%, meaning it only cost 4243% more than the last bucket I purchased. He also threw in a sample bottle of HypoKlean cleaning product (valued at $1, review to follow).

Note: Unlike lower-priced buckets, the Edco bucket is not suitable as an ad hoc and effective blindfold that audience members will actually trust. Fortunately, the aperture of the head-squeezing mechanism is so small that accidents related to its misuse in this way are very low. Nonetheless, I recommend that the existing warning decals (“WARNING: WET FLOOR”) should be supplemented with advice that it is not to be worn as headgear.

The overall cleaning solution was very effective; the mop-head provided a large cleaning surface, meaning less strokes were required. The long handle was very successful in ensuring that my back was straight during the mop-deployment – I felt no adverse effects.

At $65 for the complete system, I did feel like I had overpaid for a replacement to my $10 sponge-mop, but I hope that the future years of service, faster mopping time, plus the reduction in back-pain (not to mention the sheer joy of custom-mopping) should make this purchase one that I look back on fondly.

I haven’t merely bought a mop; I have bought a hygienic heirloom for my tallest heir.