ArticlesI justed want to clarify a small part of my political platform.
When I become President of Australia, it will not be illegal to publish your Zombie Plan, your Velociraptor Plan, your Time-traveller-stranded-in-the-past Plan or your Last-person-alive-on-Earth Plan.
However, your plans will be required, by law, to include references to at least three of your previously published plans for reality-based disasters. The government-approved list will include items such as:
- Waking to the sound of a smoke-alarm
- Discovering someone has collapsed
- Approaching bushfire*
- Imminent flooding*
- Moderate earthquake*
- Hard-drive failure
- Snakebite*
- Flat tyre
You are welcome to continue to come up with ridiculous, over-considered disaster scenarios, and fantasize about rising above them as a hero, but only once you have eaten your vegetables.
* Only counts towards tally if you live in a prone area.
People pointing out that I have an elaborate “President of Australia” plan, but haven’t yet published my flat tyre plan will be fed to my pet velociraptor when I am President. Besides, I have published my hard-drive failure plan.
Comment by Tom on April 3, 2010
Allow me to be the first to submit my “Waking to the sound of a smoke-alarm” plan: Poke it with a stick until it shuts up. Return to sleep.
Always worked for me so far…