OddThinking

“I will read your mind!” boasted the mentalist. “You can pick a colour, or a flower, or an element of the periodic table, write it down, show it to the audience and seal it in an envelope. Then I will read your mind and predict what it says! In fact, you could write any English word, and I will predict it.”

I want to go on the record with a prediction.

Within 5 years, the first Australian TV station will realise that they are missing an opportunity for product placement.

Late one night, I pondered my life, logically.

I didn’t much like what I proved.

I am working on a new lossy compression system for photos that takes advantage of a key fact about babies.

No matter how morally you behave in life, a significant population think you are going to Hell. However, I realised there was a way of turning this depressing thought into an opportunity.

To: All of the airline passengers of the world.
Re: Baggage Collection, Process Clarification

Dear Fellow Passenger,

The following instruction is simple, and should be carried out with immediate effect.

Help me solve a dilemma that has nagged me for many years.

The word “hubris” sounds like should be a good thing. Saying someone has a “sense of hubris” makes it sound like they have a nice mix of a sense of humility, humanity and humour.

Whoever decided it should actually mean “conceit” was clearly having a bad day and made a simple error. Let’s fix it now.

When I become the CEO of a major car-manufacturer, I’m going to start selling my cars in a very different way.

Yes, as it happens, I am a bit grumpy today. So what?! You want to make something of it!